Pointless Music Rant

You can't know where you are going unless you know where you've been.  If I apply this adage to the last few years of popular music, I understand why I haven't listened to music on terrestrial radio in over 4 years.  An article popped up at the end of April that puts the last few years into perspective.  A band called Gym Class Heroes found themselves at #1 on the CHR/Top 40 list with their track, "Cupid's Chokehold/Breakfast In America."  The CHR/Top 40 List is a panel of radio stations from all over the US that tracks the national airplay of songs.  So, being #1 on this list means that "Cupid's Chokehold/Breakfast In America" is the most played song on radio in the US.  Now, being #1 isn't what made the article so special, but rather, Gym Class Heroes is the first band to be #1 for 4 consecutive weeks since Green Day in 2005.  This was during the American Idiot album, when Green Day was all the rage.

Gym Class Heroes first came to my attention when I listened to their album The Papercut Chronicles, a work I found to be quite uninteresting, unmemorable, and full of music that was trying hard to be "edgy".  Apparently, GCH was "found" by the guys in Fall Out Boy (don't even get me started on this one), and signed to Decaydance Records the label of Pete Wentz, bass player for Fall Out Boy.  Gym Class Heroes went on after that album to be an artist connected with the soundtrack for One Tree Hill, a teenage emo-soap opera, which only has one, albeit slightly less attractive, redeeming quality: Moira Kelly.  Gym Class Heroes also partnered with Sunkist, and used their remake of "Good Vibrations" to sell sodas.  You can hear this remake here.

I know I'm throwing a lot of random information at you, but I'm trying to establish a foundation for what is the most popular song in the last 2 years by a band that is only known to kids 17 and under who have a penchant for eyeliner and anime, and who's parents totally don't understand them.   Aside from the fact that the band just isn't very interesting, has just become a marketing gimmick, wrecked one of the greatest Beach Boys songs ever, and associates themselves with the most irrelevant band of the last 5 years, the song that rocketed them to the top of the charts, "Cupid's Chokehold/Breakfast In America", is a cover of a Supertramp song.  Oh, they added their own verse, which is why there is a slash in the middle.  The catchy chorus in the song is pulled from "Breakfast In America" by Supertramp which was released in 1979. 

So, out of all the bands in the last two years, the one that most caught the ears and imagination of the public, and then kept their attention for 4 long weeks, was a song that was written 28 years ago.  That's what we get.  And frankly, that's all you are going to get for a long time.  The 2005 chart toppers, Green Day, while the rock-darlings of the day, had just released their most predictable, generic album ever.  It wasn't bad, but not very good.  Years from now, no one will be listening to the American Idiot album, but Dookie will still be found over and over by new listeners.  But that's what we have now.  Music that is written for, marketed to, and eaten up by a group that has no solid opinions or identity:  Teenagers.  Teenagers gave us the life changing music of Tiffany, Menudo, Ace of Base, Brittney Spears, and now Fall Out Boy and Gym Class Heroes.  Just because you add distortion and tattoos doesn't change the fact that you are singing to an audience who measure their importance in this world by how many wrist bands they own and whether they got lots of signatures in their yearbook.  There is truly amazing music going on, with sharp, well written lyrics of substance, strong musical roots and form, and remarkable artistry on instruments, but mainstream has completely been usurped.  It used to be that great songs from decades earlier were plucked up by corporations to sell pizza and bubblegum, but its so much easier to simply make the music the commercial.  Why wait for bands to become classic?  You can get some hipsters in ironic t-shirts to record an old song, tie the album release to some products and TV show, pay a radio station to put it into heavy rotation, and shazam!, you can sell all of your products at every mall in the US.

I'm really not just some old guy talking about how much cooler music was in my day.  I'm talking about cooler music now.  I guess I should be glad that bands I like stay "smaller".  I don't want to see a Decemberists song used to sell tacos.  There has always been disposable music that was vapid and soulless and sold millions of copies.  That will never go away.  Payola is alive and well and companies will always use teens to sell their products.  As I mentioned before, teens have no solid opinions or identities, which makes them perfect for selling a new product.

My call to you, dear reader, is simple.  If you haven't already, then stop listening music radio.  Seriously, just stop.  Listen to public radio and learn something, or, if you must, listen to talk radio.  At least the blow-hard jackassery on those shows don't include music.  Go out and buy some albums recommended on this blog, and visit sites like Pitchfork to learn about what is really going on in music.  Rage against the dying of the light.  And if you meet anyone who mentions Gym Class Heroes and is over the age of 17, break their eyeliner in half for me.  That'll give them something to be EMOtional about.

Comments

[C]

I always enjoy reading your music rants ...Couldn't agree more...6 paragraphs, and yet you didn't even mention the "C" word once! Quite impressive...that's usually one of the first organizations people attack when ranting about radio music...
(Clear Channel)

[Craig]

If you say Clear Channel 3 times in the same article, I think you have to pay them.

[C]

...and then Biggie Smalls appears outta nowhere...